“It’s like drowning over and over again, every breath counts every heartbeat counts.”
I always have these little conversations inside my head with myself, ironically they always happen when I am playing housewife either in front of a sink or in front of the oven. And these conversations have become more recurrent and more intense.
I was talking to myself the other day while doing the dishes, and I caught myself thinking about what to cook tomorrow and what ingredients are missing so I rush to the grocery’s shop. For a second I was about to feel sorry for my educated degree holder self but then I stopped and felt sorry for my educated degree holder self; however, for a different kind of shame. We informed or well-informed people are delusional so delusional that we only perceive the universe from one angle. Every time we calculate life with the same damn prime numbers and every time we come up with the same exact result that is; nice job title+ good salary+ nice car+ occasional meaningless topic gatherings with similar people= good life. Even though, we all know that there are fractions, decimals, negative numbers, positive numbers and for the love of god whole numbers. Why do we intent to drop facts out of our equations? Why do we voluntarily continue to trace the footsteps of the first thinker? why don’t we develop our own Wit? It is a given, man/woman study, read, stack info on brain shelves then receive a degree then meet occasionally in restaurants or cafe’s to talk politics they don’t comprehend, mention the pacific ocean because “they know it exists”, discuss the ramifications of “global warming” and finally instagram their food before they delicately eat it using a knife and fork even if it was soup.
After this intense hating on successful people introduction I paused for a second, took a deep breath and picked up from where I left of, the soup. Then my corporate degree holder self tried so hard to refute all the allegations made by my angry human degree holder self and all it was able to accuse me of! Is that I went so far with the soup metaphor, I agreed and promised to be more objective with my arguments. Life isn’t always pretty and it doesn’t always happen for every one; sometimes, life not happening can be the best thing that could ever happen to you.
My time at home doing nothing but resenting the daily routine at the Ak’s holding which is keeping a house hold running made me realize something, success is like every other trait, IT IS A STATE OF MIND. Dealing with all the disappointments of daily life while fulfilling my responsibilities towards my family does not insult my pride or intelligence . If it is anything it is generous and kind to be able to make it day in, day out. And I am not saying this to make myself feel better because if I do this means I am demeaning every other person who is not well-informed and presume that they have no chance in heaven to a bright future. A degree and dozens of general information stacks, doesn’t put me or people like me in any superior position. To be happy is not necessarily to know what South American country lies along the pacific coast or who’s Taylor swift (I really didn’t know she exists until yesterday, still needs to find out how she looks like). To be happy is to be content and love. To be happy is to dare be an unemployed former TV anchor with a BA in Communication & Information studies from an elite university and still be able to stand in front of a sink with your head held up high.
Sometimes great gifts don’t come wrapped in a nice glorified paper from “Paper chase“. And always remember that diamonds start out rough and what brings this world up on its feet is not only the “educated”. All society members play an equally important role in holding our space from falling apart.