Life (101)

Have you ever asked yourself these questions, who am I? What do I stand for or even whom do I represent?

I have been asking myself these questions repeatedly for the past 16 years at least; today I am 31 and still no subtle answer. My journey was no easy ride and for sure had its ups and downs; growing up takes real guts, as individuals we encounter many endeavors and face many questions along the way before we really know whom we are. Our first identification key towards our selves is our “sexual orientation” once you make up your mind about that comes another identifications; for example, character likes and dislikes, fashion taste, passions, talent or what do we do best.

Even after you figure all these out you are still not there yet because now you have to face the society and it never is a pretty confrontation. There’s always a test you have to pass to be able to get through to the next round and in very few times you get lucky or hit a jackpot. Through out the years I have learned one fact; we are always competing with someone or something and it all starts from home its either a sibling or one of the parents, then it gets even worse now you have to beat those smart kids at school after that your associates then your colleagues and all this just to prove that you are a person worthy of existing and how do you prove it… by being successful.

By the way, how do we measure success? Is it measured by our looks, character, charm, intellect, money we earn, marital status or all these together given our age estimated by a number drawn from a standards chart. Or do we measure success these days by the number of our twitter followers divided by the number of retweets plus favorites multiplied by our Instagram followers divided by the numbers of likes we receive. Do Facebook still counts as an up to date social platform! or we are disregarding it in favor of Snapchat and God knows what.

Does our real life traits count? I.e. like-ability, communication skills, wit, compassion, or ability to sympathize. This past year I have gone on a quest trying to find the answers to all these questions, I moved from Dubai where I was born and raised. Leaving my family behind I relocated to Lebanon “my homeland” and lived there for a year in a village with my extended family, I lived in hard conditions that I am not used to and the decision was worth every bad day with no electricity, Internet, decent transportation, or a warm meal. This decision saved my life…

Since January 22nd, 2014 I have completely moved to Lebanon and worked full time as a project officer in a community development center under the management of a local Lebanese NGO “Al Hadatha Association” partnering with UNHCR. I can call this experience “mesmerizing”, I learned that life is so precious and that it is the right of all humans to be treated equally no matter where they come from or what are their backgrounds. Working with the Syrian refugees made me a better human it made me realize that at the end of the day all these questions banging on my skull are of no importance as long as I am a human that feels for other humans and reach out trying to wipe a tear on someone’s face or reassure them that it is going to be OKAY.

Moving from lavish life to a rough one was the best thing that happened to me, it opened my eyes and mind to wider horizons of knowledge. It opened my heart to a greater kind of love and that is the other.

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